i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
