When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
