He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
