when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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