those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
