It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
