I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I cut my penus on the lid.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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