so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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