Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
