I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
