the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
