ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
