what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
