I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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