He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
