Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it's like iHOP with fire
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
