margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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