Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
why is half of my head shaved?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
