For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
