you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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