return my video game
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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