The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Small penises have feelings too.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
