Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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