Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
