Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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