worst night to have a conscience
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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