I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
