i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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