idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
