Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
