Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
