last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
