Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
