pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You brought string cheese to the strip club
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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