Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
