i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
handjob tips. give me some.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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