I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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