last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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