Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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