check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
