My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
its not stalking. its research.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
