I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sorry about my life...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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