his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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