then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
