Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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