maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
