Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
