It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
