He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
