the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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