yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
