We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
