Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
